12/7/05

[HOST_Carolann] I think we will get started. Welcome again everyone! And a special welcome to Doris Beck who is our guest speaker for today.
[HOST_Carolann] She is here to talk to us about how Joy Is A Choice - Pain Is Inevitable Bit Misery Is Optional.
[HOST_Carolann] Doris serves as the Interactive Manager with TruthMedia Internet Group, which hosts 24 websites in 12 languages and is a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ, Canada.
[HOST_Carolann] She has a handout which you can get by going to www.restministries.org/CHAT/handout_beck.pdf
[HOST_Carolann] Welcome Doris, and I will turn our time over to you.
GUEST_DORIS> thanks Carolann
GUEST_DORIS> well I do want to thank all of you for coming out this morning
GUEST_DORIS> and today's topic is one that is definitely close to my heart
GUEST_DORIS> in fact, in our chat rooms on our websites,
GUEST_DORIS> you can find those chats on our websites.....www.christianwomentoday.com and www.thelife.com
GUEST_DORIS> my journey of joy has been that ... a journey
GUEST_DORIS> so let's open in prayer and then I will share a bit and open it up to questions from you as well
GUEST_DORIS> Father thank you so much for this time together and for the reality that joy is a choice that we can all make every day
GUEST_DORIS> I pray that this time together would be an encouragement to all who come...and that they would be allow you to be their real joy giver
GUEST_DORIS> amen
GUEST_DORIS> first of all, a bit about myself
GUEST_DORIS> I have been married for 30 years(You can do the math.. that makes me in my 50's)
GUEST_DORIS> I have three awesome kids aged 28, 26 and 23 who are all married(they got married within less than three years of one another which left me both tired and broke)
GUEST_DORIS> Through several difficult pregnancies and living with chronic pain, I learned that joy really is a choice.
GUEST_DORIS> I was first diagnosed with arthritis at the age of 19, and then with chronic fatigue 18 years ago...
GUEST_DORIS> eventually I was also diagnosed with Fibro Myaelgia, but as you probably know, those are all related to our autoimmune system and mine just doesn't work well
GUEST_DORIS> Although pain is part of all of our lives, misery is not! Each of us is given the choice of how we respond to those things that we cannot change.
GUEST_DORIS> please feel free to interrupt me with any questions as we go along...
GUEST_DORIS> Here are four choices we can make that are the keys to choosing joy:
GUEST_DORIS> Choose your focus
GUEST_DORIS> Charles Swindoll once said, "Your outlook on life is not determined by your circumstances, but by your focus." Instead of looking at the circumstances, choose instead to look beyond those circumstances to God. I had to daily choose whether I would focus on the circumstance of living with chronic pain, or focus on God who has promised that His grace is all-sufficient. By choosing to keep your eyes on the Lord, you will get to know Him better and it will become easier to trust Him in every situation.
GUEST_DORIS> Joy is a by product of a growing relationship with Jesus Christ
GUEST_DORIS> and God is indeed the real joy giver...
GUEST_DORIS> The Joy of the Lord is my strength
GUEST_DORIS> and it isn't something that I have to manufacture on my own...
GUEST_DORIS> secondly
charleen> I don't have much pain mine is breathing on oxygen and tend to feel sorry for myself
GUEST_DORIS> yes I hear you there charleen
GUEST_DORIS> we all go there when left to our own resources!
GUEST_DORIS> feeling sorry for ourselves
GUEST_DORIS> that's why it is so important to choose what our focus will be
GUEST_DORIS> we can in fact , choose joy....it's not just an emotion, but a choice
GUEST_DORIS> I have a daily choice to make of whether or not I will "consider it all joy." And although I cannot choose for a lifetime, I can choose to rejoice in the Lord and His faithfulness one moment at a time. I can ask God to restore to me the joy of my salvation (Psalm 51:12).
GUEST_DORIS> and it is a moment by moment choice when living in pain or in your case charleen, being on oxygen
kvp> sometimes its hard to re-focus when you feel overwhelmed by it all .... so the choice is even harder to make
charleen> I get depressed cause I cant do much any more but you know that could be my way of thinking don't you agree
GUEST_DORIS> what do you focus on? what you cannot do? or all that you can still do? the choice is ours!
GUEST_DORIS> very true
GUEST_DORIS> but that's the neat part about realizing that we don't have to do it on our own
GUEST_DORIS> but instead, we can ask God by His Holy Spirit to do it in us...
GUEST_DORIS> we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit at the moment that we invite Jesus Christ into our lives
GUEST_DORIS> but we have a choice, according to Ephesians 5:18 as to whether or not we allow Him to fill our lives....
GUEST_DORIS> because scripture is also clear that we have been given everything pertaining to life and godliness
GUEST_DORIS> so we have been given all of the Spirit
charleen> I focus on what I cant do God forgive me
GUEST_DORIS> however, we have a choice as to whether or not we give him back control
GUEST_DORIS> yes charleen...
GUEST_DORIS> that's what we all often do
GUEST_DORIS> instead, confess that
GUEST_DORIS> according to 1 John 1:9, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us from all unrighteousness
GUEST_DORIS> and then ask Him to fill you up.. to take control of your life and empower you to choose joy
GUEST_DORIS> after all joy is part of the fruit of the Spirit
GUEST_DORIS> it's much like driving a car.....when we invite him in, we give him the driver's seat and the steering wheel
[HOST_Carolann] when you choose joy, Doris, as you say, do you instantly feel different, I mean do you notice a difference immediately?
GUEST_DORIS> but when we focus on our weakness, our pain, what we cannot do, we take that steering wheel back
GUEST_DORIS> so I need to confess that I have done that and give it back to him
GUEST_DORIS> yes right charleen
GUEST_DORIS> Carolann, it isn't an instant fix...
GUEST_DORIS> it is a peace ...knowing that I am exactly where God has me
GUEST_DORIS> and it's ok!
[HOST_Carolann] yes
GUEST_DORIS> I let Him empower me to do what He wants me to do
GUEST_DORIS> and some days, He wants me to just be still and enjoy being in His presence
GUEST_DORIS> nothing more
Lylac> I would think one would have to keep working on it, just like forgiveness, in our human nature we are sinful so we have to keep refocusing
GUEST_DORIS> Being spirit filled is once for always.. sometimes we have to do it over and over and over again...you are so right lylac!
[HOST_Carolann] yes Lylac, I agree, as Doris also said, it is a process
GUEST_DORIS> that it is!
kvp> Do you not feel guilty when you just do that - feeling the need to fill the time?
GUEST_DORIS> lol
GUEST_DORIS> I try hard not to feel guilty!
GUEST_DORIS> and no, I have learned that in God's economy, spending time with Him is never wasted time!
GUEST_DORIS> and in light of eternity it's the most important thing I can do!
[HOST_Carolann] amen
GUEST_DORIS> next to sharing His good news with others!
Lylac> doris, you are a blessing, I appreciate your words so much already - they are helping so much
GUEST_DORIS> that's awesome Lylac
GUEST_DORIS> as I said, it is a journey!
kvp> like - Mary - choosing the 'better thing'
GUEST_DORIS> exactly!
GUEST_DORIS> we are mostly Martha's by nature...but Mary chose the better thing!
GUEST_DORIS> our third choice is ...
GUEST_DORIS> Choose to laugh!
GUEST_DORIS> It has been said that he who laughs, lasts. Don't take yourself too seriously and whenever possible, laugh at yourself! There is a reason why Proverbs says that a cheerful heart is truly good medicine (Proverbs 17:22).
GUEST_DORIS> look for the humor in a situation!
GUEST_DORIS> in other words, don't take yourself too seriously!
GUEST_DORIS> and surround yourself with things to help that
GUEST_DORIS> funny movies
GUEST_DORIS> funny books
GUEST_DORIS> a Barbara Johnston Calendar is a must!
GUEST_DORIS> God has an amazing sense of humor!
GUEST_DORIS> just look around you and you will agree!
hagar> I have found to refuse to allow myself to be cleansed, refilled & used as often as He desires actually is nothing to feel guilty about. I found out it is the other way around. While HE still loves me. He delights greatly when I let him love me quite passionately & abundantly. (and through me too)
GUEST_DORIS> that's true hagar..
GUEST_DORIS> he does delight greatly when I let him love me!
GUEST_DORIS> but he also commands me to be filled with the Spirit...
GUEST_DORIS> we need to realize that scripture is our plumb line...
[HOST_Carolann] amen
GUEST_DORIS> too often we get sidetracked...
GUEST_DORIS> and instead, we need to go back and ask, What does the Bible Say about this?
GUEST_DORIS> for example, in Philippians, we are told over and over again...Rejoice!
GUEST_DORIS> Rejoice!
GUEST_DORIS> Rejoice
GUEST_DORIS> Do not be anxious...
GUEST_DORIS> let your requests be made known to God with thanksgiving!
GUEST_DORIS> and that's our fourth choice
GUEST_DORIS> Choose to cultivate a thankful heart
GUEST_DORIS> Never doubt the goodness of God toward you. Begin to daily look for those things that you can be thankful for. Start with looking for one thing every day, and then increase the number of things.
GUEST_DORIS> This is a discipline that requires diligence. Even in difficult circumstances, look first for something for which to be thankful. Remember, that God is never surprised about anything that happens in our lives.
GUEST_DORIS> He is still in control
GUEST_DORIS> For those who struggle with chronic pain, having an attitude of gratitude is difficult because the first thing that hits you every morning is how much you hurt. You're not even sure you can get out of bed if you wanted to get out of bed.
GUEST_DORIS> There is a deprivation of energy. But you can learn in the midst of the chronic pain to choose joy and to be thankful.
GUEST_DORIS> Focus more on what you can do than what you can't. Although physical pain is part of my everyday life, I have a choice to make. I choose to celebrate life, to be joyful and to be thankful for each new day!
GUEST_DORIS> I choose to celebrate life!
GUEST_DORIS> it's a choice...and one I make daily
GUEST_DORIS> so how do you cope in your daily lives?
Margie> Doris, I am wondering what you are able to do physically, such as drive, attend church, or social events, shop, clean etc?
GUEST_DORIS> well most of the time I can do most of those...
GUEST_DORIS> I can drive...attend church(although there are days when I can't)
GUEST_DORIS> I choose which social events.. because of limited energy and fatigue, I don't do it all
GUEST_DORIS> but choose
GUEST_DORIS> shopping my husband does that for me
GUEST_DORIS> and cleaning?
GUEST_DORIS> well that's something that I have had to get help with as well
GUEST_DORIS> he does the vacuuming...anything that requires lifting or repeated motion
GUEST_DORIS> for example I can't wash walls, or blinds...
GUEST_DORIS> so have to get help with all of that
GUEST_DORIS> why were you asking Margie?
Margie> then perhaps joy is something more easily attainable when you are not housebound and isolated?
GUEST_DORIS> no I don't think so Margie
Lylac> Doris, any recommendations when you can't hire out help? I am home but dh works a lot so we can make it and isn't able to help so much.
GUEST_DORIS> one of my heroes of the faith is Corrie ten Boon
GUEST_DORIS> her last 5 years were spent in the house, in bed actually
GUEST_DORIS> and she had lost her speech
GUEST_DORIS> yet people came from around the world for her to pray for them
GUEST_DORIS> and she was joyful thru it all
GUEST_DORIS> it's a choice
GUEST_DORIS> God tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength
GUEST_DORIS> so that means that it is not only attainable, but His plan for us
GUEST_DORIS> Lylac, good questions...I would suggest moving into something you can handle
GUEST_DORIS> smaller is better if bigger adds so much stress to your life that you can't choose joy
GUEST_DORIS> and be content with less..
GUEST_DORIS> declutter...
Margie> Corrie had millions who adored her - most of us are just, well, us.
craftingrama> yes I was wondering the same thing. I'm deaf, disabled in a small rural town with no friends and minimal ways of going out and housework is a thing that just plain brings tears just in thought and no money to pay for help either
GUEST_DORIS> yes that's true Margie...but the point is, she too had a choice
GUEST_DORIS> she could have been depressed that she could no longer speak and minister that way
Lylac> I live in a small home and am a big fan of simple living, so that is good. I think on the positive side (I'm trying, lol) is that God is teaching me patience, because things are not taken care of in my timing.
GUEST_DORIS> but instead she chose to believe that God still had a plan for her
GUEST_DORIS> true lylac
GUEST_DORIS> for example, we have pulled out the carpet in most of our house because I can't vacuum
GUEST_DORIS> so with laminate floors I can sweep with a swiffer...and the room is actually cleaner
GUEST_DORIS> and I can't do an all day houseclean.. that is far too painful...so a little every day is doable
Lylac> one can take any situation and make it negative...it takes thought and heart to look for the positive. not easy, but it can be done...
GUEST_DORIS> yes exactly Lylac
GUEST_DORIS> it's back to the focus
GUEST_DORIS> what is our focus
GUEST_DORIS> what we can't do
GUEST_DORIS> or what we can
hagar> I work in a nursing home. I see so much pain suffering & inability to do even simple self care. I can share that while the burdens that weigh down in everyday life need dealt with & for that I pray God touches & provides for all here in need. The thing I share with the people's lives whom I am blessed to know. The Lord never stops working on our character! It is about His finished work in us. Not our own stewardship day to day He is most concerned with & even my folks with Alzheimer's I have seen have miraculous moments of testimony & pray for what they can remember
GUEST_DORIS> and in my case, I have to be content with a little dust!
GUEST_DORIS> that's awesome hagar
GUEST_DORIS> for you craftingrama....
GUEST_DORIS> may I suggest finding an online community where you can be encouraged and pray for others?
GUEST_DORIS> for example our chat rooms have that...
GUEST_DORIS> and you can go there daily, and be encouraged.
GUEST_DORIS> study the Word together
GUEST_DORIS> join in prayer with others who are praying
GUEST_DORIS> find a way to minister to others...even from home
GUEST_DORIS> you can pray with others
GUEST_DORIS> you can encourage them
GUEST_DORIS> you can become a prayer mentor on our sites and pray for people around the world who send in prayer requests
craftingrama> sounds like what I need I do try to get in here as much as possible but alot of times there isn't anyone here
Ron> that's what the Chatroom is all about
GUEST_DORIS> and you will find that you are energized by that
GUEST_DORIS> that's right Ron and craftingrama
hagar> it is transforming! I can attest to it. giving what we can give no matter how small is a source of unimaginable joy---> therefore strength
GUEST_DORIS> Psalm 51:12 is a great verse to pray
GUEST_DORIS> http://www.christianwomentoday.com/wt_chat/2.html?channel=cwt-forum is the link to the women's chat room
GUEST_DORIS> http://www.christianwomentoday.com/wt_chat/2.html?channel=cwt-forum is for the coed
GUEST_DORIS> and they are open 19 hours/day
GUEST_DORIS> only closed from 2-7 am eastern
GUEST_DORIS> and as I said, look for a way to minister to others...
Lylac> Doris, that brings up the point to me that coincides with what you are sharing...if we get involved with others it helps to get our focus off of ourselves...I know I start to feel sorry for myself more when I am alone sometimes
GUEST_DORIS> exactly
GUEST_DORIS> so begin to ask God to remind you to pray for others
GUEST_DORIS> pray for your family...friends...politicians...
GUEST_DORIS> sign up as a prayer partner for other ministries
GUEST_DORIS> http://training.truthmedia.com/volunteer/joinprayer.html is our link
GUEST_DORIS> but there are others as well
GUEST_DORIS> http://training.truthmedia.com/mentoring/prayer_mentor.html tells you more about being a prayer mentor
GUEST_DORIS> when we open our lives to others, God uses us
GUEST_DORIS> and He gives us joy in doing that
Lylac> praying for others is more powerful than anything you can do for them
GUEST_DORIS> exactly
GUEST_DORIS> and like Corrie, all of you can do that right where you are
GUEST_DORIS> one more thing that I forgot to say under choosing to laugh
GUEST_DORIS> when we laugh we actually produce endorphins...
Ron> prayer support is life support
GUEST_DORIS> they are like our natural pain killers!
GUEST_DORIS> very true Ron
Lylac> amen, Ron
GUEST_DORIS> My husband also is disabled...he has psoriatic arthritis
GUEST_DORIS> so he can vacuum, but hardly write
GUEST_DORIS> so we laugh...some days we look pretty pathetic as we hobble out of bed or get out of the car if we have driven too far without a break...but there is no time for pity parties!
Lylac> that is wonderful that you laugh so much together, I'm going to work on the same!
GUEST_DORIS> when neither of us can open a jar...well it goes back on the shelf until the kids come home!
GUEST_DORIS> it's a choice Lylac
GUEST_DORIS> someone once told me when I was speaking, that I was 'lucky' that I had so many funny stories to tell!!
GUEST_DORIS> my response?
GUEST_DORIS> she had funny stories too...she just didn't laugh at them!
GUEST_DORIS> so when something bad happens at our house, I will often say...this will make a great story!
GUEST_DORIS> my husband has been known to respond...I think you have enough stories already!
GUEST_DORIS> ::laugh ::laugh
GUEST_DORIS> or once when we were going on a trip with both cars, and both broke down.. I did laugh when we had to pull over with the second one...and laugh I did!
GUEST_DORIS> my youngest daughter just said...'this isn't funny any more'
GUEST_DORIS> but we all have a choice
hagar> I am on medical leave for emotional & mental illness (depression, severe anxiety, PTSD & DID- from earlier childhood sexual abuse- my pain is mental & emotional...it is just as crippling & I live alone ) after 6 weeks of being off theoretically to judge from my past patterns. Lord only knows how far in the pit I would be- even to being suicidal. I was blessed to find a recovery forum for Christians where I have found hope, life, support & joy in my ability to still serve. I am actually happier there than I was at work as a nurse. God has used me.. even in so dilapidated a state! Have hope & just ask Jesus for help to be used.
GUEST_DORIS> we can laugh or cry
GUEST_DORIS> and crying only gives us a headache!
GUEST_DORIS> and puffy eyes!
GUEST_DORIS> that's so neat hagar...
GUEST_DORIS> and you have chosen to allow God to use you right where you are!
GUEST_DORIS> I have been there
GUEST_DORIS> in fact, my husband went thru a deep burnout several years ago
Lylac> hagar, wonderful to hear your victory over all of that!
GUEST_DORIS> instead of fighting it, we embraced it
GUEST_DORIS> decided that it was ok to have no social life
GUEST_DORIS> instead we spent long hours reading...talking...just being...
Lylac> Did you explain at all to friends, Doris, or did you just do as you needed?
GUEST_DORIS> good question
hagar> finding God in the darkness- awesome thing & good book (Draw close to the Fire)
GUEST_DORIS> our closest friends knew what was going on
GUEST_DORIS> and we had a small group from church who prayed for us daily and met with us weekly
GUEST_DORIS> we called them our lifeline
GUEST_DORIS> others we told as needed
GUEST_DORIS> some just knew that we weren't around much
GUEST_DORIS> others we told as they called or asked.. but not everyone knew all the details
GUEST_DORIS> they didn't need to
craftingrama> didn't you have anyone condemning you for your shut down. I did and do. Everyone is always telling me to get out and off my butt/
GUEST_DORIS> but the prayer support was huge
GUEST_DORIS> well I continue to get out...
GUEST_DORIS> for example, I still walk at least 3 or 4 times/week
GUEST_DORIS> get out and smell the fresh air
craftingrama> did your husband since he was the one with the burnout which is what I went through
GUEST_DORIS> and in my case, without walking I would be in a wheel chair by now
GUEST_DORIS> yes he walked every day
GUEST_DORIS> his doctor and counsellor both told him that he needed to
GUEST_DORIS> and he did
GUEST_DORIS> so I walk AND go to Curves...for the strengthening...
GUEST_DORIS> so that my muscles keep working
GUEST_DORIS> and that is actually huge...
Lylac> That is wonderful you have that support and understanding...for me I have lost a lot of friends because they don't understand too...but I realize I have the only people I need in my life and that's okay, and most of all I have God (but I haven't always felt this way and I do fight the bitterness of it).
GUEST_DORIS> exercise even if only a slow walk
GUEST_DORIS> get a treadmill if you can't get out
GUEST_DORIS> but do something
GUEST_DORIS> Lylac...good point...you are dealing with it and choosing not to be bitter
Margie> Doris, you have an amazing circle of support, in the flesh, not just online. That is so critical to be able to overcome circumstances.
hagar> But Doris can you explain & share how you got there? It is not as easy as many "well" meaning friends & family seem to think it is..
GUEST_DORIS> God is very clear....we are NOT to let a root of bitterness take root in our lives
GUEST_DORIS> that's right Margie
GUEST_DORIS> some of my closest friends and prayer support are online.. people I have never met face to face
GUEST_DORIS> good point hagar...it's a journey as I said off the top
hagar> Sometimes the root is there already & God purposes us to be still & know that He is God.
GUEST_DORIS> and it is made up of daily choices...
GUEST_DORIS> what do I focus on
GUEST_DORIS> do I choose joy?
GUEST_DORIS> do I laugh
GUEST_DORIS> do I choose to be thankful
GUEST_DORIS> at first, finding one thing to be thankful for was sooooo hard
Lylac> Doris, I still get the bitter feelings but have to fight them so I understand.
GUEST_DORIS> right Lylac
GUEST_DORIS> it's a process
GUEST_DORIS> but you can choose
GUEST_DORIS> that's the point...
GUEST_DORIS> and you can cultivate an attitude of gratitude
Ron> Doris, do you keep a journal of your journey?
GUEST_DORIS> so instead of being angry because I can't run, or ski...I am thankful for each new day...
craftingrama> so how do you focus and choose joy when your being chopped up by others
GUEST_DORIS> yes, good point Ron
GUEST_DORIS> and even if you are not journallers, begin to keep a Gratitude Journal
GUEST_DORIS> write down the things that you are thankful for
GUEST_DORIS> and every day, take time to write it down.
GUEST_DORIS> ask God to show you things that you can be thankful for
Margie> How would you suggest we handle stress that comes from other peoples problems or attitudes?
Lylac> I have found to be helpful to not compare myself to "healthy" people anymore. I did for a long time and I would just get frustrated. If I look to others that are less fortunate than myself even, I feel more thankful.
GUEST_DORIS> good questions Margie...and it relates to Margie...
GUEST_DORIS> we cannot or are not responsible for the attitudes of others
GUEST_DORIS> right Lylac...
GUEST_DORIS> it's your focus that has changed
GUEST_DORIS> the same goes for you craftingrama...
GUEST_DORIS> you can't change them
GUEST_DORIS> but you can make a choice yourself
hagar> It may be a long series of joy "baby steps" in the right direction. First to choose to not let anyone condemn what God does not! Whom He has forgiven! And who He promises in His word (<---big step in right direction) He is the author & finisher of our faith! He needs to be in control. That is the hard part. He has to write the script of our lives. Not those who love us even!
GUEST_DORIS> so, this afternoon....poke your head outside...
GUEST_DORIS> walk around the outside of your house if you can
GUEST_DORIS> right hagar...exactly
GUEST_DORIS> and God promises that He will see to completion the good work that He has begun in us
GUEST_DORIS> but we do have a choice in all of it
hagar> hey look out the window for 15 minutes ...lol that is some days all I can manage
GUEST_DORIS> that's right
GUEST_DORIS> watch the world....
GUEST_DORIS> pray for the people walking by
GUEST_DORIS> thank God for the sunrise...and the sunset
GUEST_DORIS> that even on rainy days the sun is still shining above the clouds
GUEST_DORIS> put on some worship music
GUEST_DORIS> that's a big one for me
GUEST_DORIS> in my darkest times, it was music that touched my soul
Margie> Friends are going through terrible situations in their lives, and I find it affecting me, because I care so much.
GUEST_DORIS> yes, that's hard Margie
GUEST_DORIS> but remember...we are told to Cast our cares or burdens on God because He cares for us
Lylac> Doris, what are your feelings about t.v. - good or bad?
GUEST_DORIS> He gives us all sufficient grace for each day
GUEST_DORIS> but he only gives you grace for today
GUEST_DORIS> not for tomorrow
Lylac> I think it's easy to fall back on t.v. watching when you don't feel well.
GUEST_DORIS> or the day after
GUEST_DORIS> tv?
hagar> we must listen to the still small voice... do the ittiest bittiest maybe quite silly seeming things that do not conflict with the Word of course that God asks us to do. I found that my pride was far more a stumbling block than anyone of those diagnoses I listed.
GUEST_DORIS> it can be good or bad
GUEST_DORIS> but watching it all day?
GUEST_DORIS> horrible!
GUEST_DORIS> good point hagar
GUEST_DORIS> if you find yourself watching TV all day?
GUEST_DORIS> then turn it off
GUEST_DORIS> pick up a good book
GUEST_DORIS> find a chat community where you can be encouraged and encourage others
GUEST_DORIS> study the Bible
kvp> learn where the turn-off button is :)
GUEST_DORIS> read it thru from cover to cover
GUEST_DORIS> when was the last time you did that?
[HOST_Carolann] amen kvp - it's a choice we have
Lylac> that's why I am asking because it keeps you from people and from focusing on positive things...a lot of negativity on TV.!
GUEST_DORIS> yes very true Lylac
GUEST_DORIS> and I would really encourage all of you to turn it off for the most part
Margie> Is your hubby retired or still working?
GUEST_DORIS> a couple of hours/day max
GUEST_DORIS> he is working again...
GUEST_DORIS> was off for the better part of a year
GUEST_DORIS> yes we all need to learn where the off button is
GUEST_DORIS> sometimes we think...we are just watching news...cnn
GUEST_DORIS> but that is soooo depressing!
GUEST_DORIS> I see our hour is up...any last burning questions?
Ann> Thank you, Doris, for your good message. I've been taking it all in and I am blessed by being here today.
kvp> constant TV can become just like annoying wallpaper
GUEST_DORIS> oh good
[HOST_Carolann] Thank you so much Doris for all you have shared - it has been very encouraging and helpful
GUEST_DORIS> oh good.. glad I could be here
Lylac> Yes, Doris, you have given so many good and wonderful words of thought, thank you! I will keep them in my heart.
[HOST_Carolann] we have been blessed to have you here today and for everyone here thank you all for coming
GUEST_DORIS> and as I said, if you are looking for online community, do check out our websites
kvp> thank you Doris - you have put a good argument for positive choices :)
GUEST_DORIS> many are evangelistic
GUEST_DORIS> so we have lots of chances to share the wonderful good news of the gospel
GUEST_DORIS> and remember.. Joy is a Choice!
hagar> John 8:31-31 If you follow my teachings, then you truly are my disciples..... then (only then) you will know the truth & the truth will set you free. Obeying in the little things- we experience God & grow in faith & glorify Him. As much as in the Big things like laying our "Isaacs" on the alter. In the OT, the Lord always gave His people time to grow before the bigger tests. In the NT it is the same! The problem for me is I think & was indoctrinated at home, in society & in my own thinking to believe the lie. If it ain't big, it ain't nothing & it don't count. That is not how any person of great faith has ever been there as the instrument through which God works a miracle.
GUEST_DORIS> Misery is Optional
[HOST_Carolann] amen
GUEST_DORIS> and God will give you joy if you only give him total control of Your life.. including those hidden places of grief, pain and despair
GUEST_DORIS> so true hagar...
GUEST_DORIS> we must be found faithful in the small things
Lylac> Doris, before you go, who are your favorite authors please?
GUEST_DORIS> Barbara Johnson
GUEST_DORIS> because of her perspective on eternity
GUEST_DORIS> and her sense of humor
GUEST_DORIS> Phil Callaway
GUEST_DORIS> for the same reasons
LRae> Doris, my online community, do mean RM?
GUEST_DORIS> Tim Hansel has written an excellent book called, You Gotta Keep Dancin on living with Chronic Pain that I highly recommend
GUEST_DORIS> this is a great community LRae.
GUEST_DORIS> but there aren't always chats here..
co-host_Debbie> That is an awesome book
GUEST_DORIS> no, I was speaking of TruthMedia Ministries...
GUEST_DORIS> hosts of www.christianwomentoday.com
GUEST_DORIS> and www.thelife.com
GUEST_DORIS> and www.womentodaymagazine.com
GUEST_DORIS> that's the ministry that I work with
GUEST_DORIS> and we have both a women's chat room that is open 19 hours/day
GUEST_DORIS> and a coed
GUEST_DORIS> both have prayer chats
GUEST_DORIS> moderated chats which can be studies, topical chats
LRae> Thanks.
GUEST_DORIS> or we even have a Daily Devotional Chat at 10:30 am eastern time Mon-Fri on the women's chat
GUEST_DORIS> Debbie, yes, the Tim Hansel book was very key in my journey of dealing with Chronic pain...
co-host_Debbie> I loved that book!
GUEST_DORIS> and the quote about Pain being inevitable but misery being optional is from that book
gracedostrich> QUESTION HERE
GUEST_DORIS> Barbara Johnson quotes it from there
GUEST_DORIS> sure grace..
gracedostrich> Where do antidepressants fit in here for Christians?
GUEST_DORIS> Patsy Clairmont is another great author
GUEST_DORIS> good question grace
GUEST_DORIS> much like a diabetic needs insulin...there are times when our body needs antidepressants to help balance our chemistry
GUEST_DORIS> one of the great disservices we do is to insist that although we take insulin, or put a cast on a broken bone, it is somehow unspiritual to take antidepressants!
LRae> I'm on an anti-dep. now, if you ever want to talk about it, Grace.
gracedostrich> ok thanks
GUEST_DORIS> I had a wonderful Christian Dr. who was very firm with me when I wanted to go off because it wasn't spiritual
GUEST_DORIS> in fact, I am on a low dose for life...
LRae> Amen, Doris! It took me years to accept that truth, but it is SO true.
GUEST_DORIS> because the tricyclic drugs, like elavil and amitryptiline, also help with pain and getting enough rest
GUEST_DORIS> my body needs that outside chemical...
GUEST_DORIS> just like a diabetic needs insulin
GUEST_DORIS> and it's just fine!
GUEST_DORIS> Praise the Lord for them!
Bob_m> agree
gracedostrich> my dr uses vitamins b
gracedostrich> and other supplements
GUEST_DORIS> but do start to exercise....
GUEST_DORIS> start by walking around the outside of your house
GUEST_DORIS> then down the driveway
GUEST_DORIS> then to the end of the block
GUEST_DORIS> with FM, exercise is a huge factor
gracedostrich> yes my dog loves that
GUEST_DORIS> I would not be functioning at the level I am without it
GUEST_DORIS> so I do it faithfully 3 or 4 times/week
Mary_Ann_Redondo> Doris, I have Chronic back pain and side leg pain due to it. May be I will try walking around the house also.
GUEST_DORIS> I walk 3 miles and/or do a Curves workout
GUEST_DORIS> yes try it Mary Ann
Lylac> did you first start out walking slowly?
GUEST_DORIS> oh absolutely Lylac
GUEST_DORIS> I could hardly move
GUEST_DORIS> never mind walk
GUEST_DORIS> my dr. told me to take two extra strength tylenol and get moving
Lylac> I have FM also...and pretty unconditioned...I will try that. thank you.
Mary_Ann_Redondo> Is Curves good?
GUEST_DORIS> at first yes, to the end of the driveway was huge
GUEST_DORIS> I was in sooo much pain I just wanted to crawl back
gracedostrich> some of us with CFS CAN GET WORSE WITH TOO MUCH EXERCISE. BUT SOME IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY
GUEST_DORIS> but now? I love my walks
GUEST_DORIS> it can get worse with too much grace...yes.. but some every day is helpful
GUEST_DORIS> and very important to keep moving
GUEST_DORIS> and yes, Curves is good because you can do it at your own pace
GUEST_DORIS> and there are no weights
GUEST_DORIS> the machines are on hydraulics
GUEST_DORIS> so I only do what I can
Margie> Doris, that is what I needed to hear - that it was very hard at first!!!
hagar> Thank you very Much Doris for the encouragement & reminder.
GUEST_DORIS> oh it was terribly hard
GUEST_DORIS> I could hardly move...
GUEST_DORIS> thought I needed a hip replacement!
GUEST_DORIS> all I needed was to walk!
Mary_Ann_Redondo> Since I am on a fixed income with disability, I don't know if I could afford Curves. Maybe I will just try walking.
GUEST_DORIS> walking is a great start Mary Ann
GUEST_DORIS> I did just that for starters
GUEST_DORIS> and still do
GUEST_DORIS> it's the number one best thing
Margie> A few steps are better than no steps!
GUEST_DORIS> exactly
GUEST_DORIS> and push yourself a little bit
GUEST_DORIS> like I said....extend yourself
Mary_Ann_Redondo> I have a old Weight Watchers diet I can go on also, I also need the weight off me .
GUEST_DORIS> yes that's another thing
GUEST_DORIS> we don't exercise so then we gain weight
GUEST_DORIS> and we need to lose some of that!
Margie> I have tended to give up cuz I cannot make it to the corner.
GUEST_DORIS> I am with you...
GUEST_DORIS> well don't give up Margie...you can make it...
GUEST_DORIS> you will surprise yourself
Mary_Ann_Redondo> Amen! for this advice ::biggrin
kvp> It gets easier Margie if you persist and then you feel the benefits
GUEST_DORIS> both my rheumatologist and my doctor(and my orthopaedic surgeon too for that matter) have all said that they are amazed at my level of functionality
GUEST_DORIS> with what I have...
GUEST_DORIS> that's so right kvp
GUEST_DORIS> because exercise also produces endorphins in our body
craftingrama> I need to go but thank you Doris for some more God Vitamins I needed today Bless you and hope to see you on one of those chat groups you mentioned.
GUEST_DORIS> our natural pain killer
Mary_Ann_Redondo> I think I'll walk to the corner and back and then around my walk three times for a start.
GUEST_DORIS> well if you see joyful, that's me!
GUEST_DORIS> there you go Mary Ann
GUEST_DORIS> great place to start!
GUEST_DORIS> and don't give up!
kvp> and don't despise small beginnings with exercise - because it does get more
GUEST_DORIS> it will hurt but as kvp says, you will feel the benefits
GUEST_DORIS> so true kvp
GUEST_DORIS> a little slowly is much better than none at all
craftingrama> ok will watch for you Bye and God's Blessings on everyone here and in our hearts
hagar> amen... need to trust the Lord with that area of my life more
GUEST_DORIS> and remember, you only need to lose 10 pounds to cut your risk of getting diabetes in half!!!
Mary_Ann_Redondo> Doris, do you take vitamins
hagar> blessing to you too
GUEST_DORIS> yes
GUEST_DORIS> a good multivitamin plus Vitamin B6(anti stress vitamin) with folic acid which is good for arthritis and such
GUEST_DORIS> a good multivitamin is critical
GUEST_DORIS> and of course a good diet
GUEST_DORIS> one that isn't loaded with carbs which make you feel worse...drowsy and sluggish
Mary_Ann_Redondo> I'll try doing it - may be this will best for me-just around the my house and block
GUEST_DORIS> there you go Mary Ann
GUEST_DORIS> You can do it!
kvp> It wasn't too safe for me to walk in my area so I put some exercise machines in my garage and made a little gym :)
graced_ostrich> where is a good source to find Christian counsellors that would be paid by our insurance? or a local Christian support group?
Mary_Ann_Redondo> Father God, I thank U for these lovelies in Christ Jesus
GUEST_DORIS> great idea kvp
GUEST_DORIS> that I can't help you with grace
GUEST_DORIS> I live in Canada
[HOST_Carolann] doesn't depend on the weather either kvp!
GUEST_DORIS> well it's been great being here.....need to go know
GUEST_DORIS> but be encouraged!
GUEST_DORIS> and remember...Joy is a choice....Lord, help each of us to choose joy today as keep our eyes fixed on You!
[HOST_Carolann] thank you SO much Doris
Lylac> Thank you
GUEST_DORIS> it was great being here
[HOST_Carolann] God bless you in your ministry and service and life in Him
GUEST_DORIS> bye all
Mary_Ann_Redondo> bye
GUEST_DORIS> thanks!