How to Cope With Depression: Practical, Emotional and Spiritual Ways to Cope
Joy Yeager

[HOST_Carolann] I think we will get started now as it is a few minutes after the hour. Welcome everyone! And a special welcome to Joy Yeager who is our guest speaker for today.
[HOST_Carolann] She will be talking to us about ways to cope with depression.
[HOST_Carolann] Joy is a mother of 3 plus is a foster parent. She has a heart for hurting people and is involved in numerous outreaches such as nursing homes, home missions trips, cell group.
[HOST_Carolann] Plus she is very creative, loves to write Christian non fiction, and has her own business making gift baskets and personalized children's books.
[HOST_Carolann] Welcome Joy! I will turn our time over to you.
guest_joy> I will start by saying that depression is something that needs to be dealt with physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
guest_joy> it is a very contradictory subject as some still believe it is solely spiritual and others it is only a chemical imbalance.
guest_joy> do any of you who suffer from depression find this true?
Shadow> yes
Sheri> yes to your 1st comment
[HOST_Carolann] in Christian circles it can be contradictory
Sheri> and I believe it is multi-faceted
Jane> unfortunately Christians are not very tolerant of depression in others
guest_joy> yes, especially in Christian circles. I believe most medical professionals are in tune to the truth.
[HOST_Carolann] it is misunderstood if anything
guest_joy> most Christians who are intolerant have not been through it themselves.
Jane> many Christians feel that if you are sick in anyway it is a choice
guest_joy> One reason why it is misunderstood is that many who suffer from it tend to come across as whiney so to speak, but the truth is that down deep they want help.
Jane> of course they do
guest_joy> yes, Jane especially emotional sickness
guest_joy> for many, many years I didn't get the help I needed because I was looking to the church, other Christians to help me when I needed medical attention.
Jane> emotional illnesses are the true invisible illnesses
Janine> Sometimes it's hard for others to be around people who are sick and depressed as they don't know how to help or what to say.
Lisa_in_CA> I think it is interesting that we Christians strive to make our faith strong in a Messiah who is "invisible", we are blessed who do not see, yet believe. You would think that we, of all people, would strive to understand an invisible illness..
Jane> depression is particularly difficult for people to understand or cope with
guest_joy> that's true Janine and we have to understand if they don't suffer from it that they won't understand. also those in leadership are often strong temperaments and sometimes those type of temperaments are less likely to suffer from depression chronically, although everyone usually does at some point in life
Janine> Joy, did medical help help your depression? Are you talking about anti-depressants for what type of medical help?
Dana> I have learned to reach out to others and ask for what I need. At the present time, our church is providing weekly meals and home cleaning.
guest_joy> yes, antidepressants did help BUT it was 12 years before I sought it because of contradictions from Christian circles and then it took 2-3 yrs to find the right one
[HOST_Carolann] Perhaps let's wait with questions until Joy has come to that topic as she may want to give a little presentation first. It's up to you Joy
guest_joy> I started out with elavil and zoloft which made me more fatigued, then was switched to effexor with great results
guest_joy> okay, what do you find the most helpful to do when you start in that downward spiral?
guest_joy> I will start with examples of physical helps, then emotional helps, then spiritual
Sheri> first, to acknowledged the feelings and find healthy ways to get them out
guest_joy> okay, Sheri emotionally not denying and dealing with it.
guest_joy> support group such as friends, those who have been through it is best along with professional/medical help
Janine> Yes, Sheri, I feel if I am honest and share my pain honestly with friends who care and understand it can help just to know we are not alone and others care. We usually find out others have many struggles in their lives too, which can help us realize we are all in this boat of life together.
Jane> is it possible to come out of a depression without medical assistance
guest_joy> yes, Jane that's where the spiritual and physical come in. let's finish our comments on the emotional, then come to that
Jane> ok..sorry
Susan> I am at home alone every day. Since I also have panic attacks, I don't leave home a lot. On bad days, if I can just make myself walk to the mailbox and change my surroundings that much, I find it can really affect my mood positively.
guest_joy> keeping positive surroundings such as an open window to watch outdoors, sunshine, birds, flowers is great start
guest_joy> that's not a problem Jane, just trying to keep myself flowing
[HOST_Carolann] I agree Susan - getting out in the fresh air and sunshine if you have it is good
guest_joy> indoors the lighting should be sufficient, colors should be either bright or light, decors should be enjoyable
guest_joy> as well as temperature and noise level appropriate,
Jane> I teach school...a woman with agoraphobia is greatly helped by volunteering in my classroom once each week
guest_joy> make sure that you are doing things you enjoy. if you can't get out, let friends, family come to you to play games, tv, dvd, scrapbooking, photos, hobbies, and hugs and kisses
guest_joy> note writing and journaling can help some personalities
Dana> wonderful ideas, Joy
guest_joy> yes Jane, volunteer work and reaching out to others is an excellent source of help, however, there may be some who can't get out at all and my previous message may work for them.
Susan> But how do you get motivated? I find that there are many tasks or projects waiting on me but depression seems to take away my motivation.
mayogram> Susan, have you tried a pet?
Jane> you are right...this lady is able to leave because her daughter and granddaughter support her
guest_joy> it is hard to get motivated, let's go on to physical and see how that helps
Janine> Yes, writing notes can be a way of getting our eyes off ourselves and our problems. Giving to others is one of the key things I try and do if I'm down and have the energy. Keeping my expectations simple helps--for example--I tell myself I can muster up the energy to do at least one card. Then I often get motivated to do even more.
guest_joy> I find that on my most difficult days, fresh air, a short walk will turn my day around. Then I can take on other things - or even a short drive to the grocery store or gas station
guest_joy> yes, keep expectations simple is a must
mayogram> Taking my dog for a short walk would probably be a help to me. Thanks for the ideas
guest_joy> whether you can or can't get out grooming is vital, bathing, comfy clothes that you like, new nightgown, makeup, hair, manicure is essential even if you are bedfast
Susan> I can't have pets due to allergies,
guest_joy> are there children you can take for a walk or just go yourself and pray or reflect on something positive, how about a neighbor lady?
Jane> excellent suggestions, joy. being unkempt is depressing in itself
Susan> I find I withdraw from people to keep from explaining how I am feeling........
guest_joy> yes Jane. I used to think that I had to wear old clothes around the house that I didn't even like. then I realized I can get rid of all them and have casual clothes I do like
mayogram> Susan, even gold fish are a living thing that is with you and depend on you. They can't cuddle but they do give you a reason to have to get up in the morning
Jane> I am sure you feel better with just that one simple change
Susan> true......sometimes the "getting up" reason is vague at best
guest_joy> many people withdraw from others especially when they feel condemned. when I withdrawal I go crazy. I need people
Shadow> Is it a bad thing to withdraw Joy?
guest_joy> if I'm really having a bad week, I might stay home from one church service but I'm quick to get back next time because it is so uplifting being around people
Susan> I always have considered myself a people person but the judgements through the years have been so severe or the lack of understanding so painful, that I have removed myself from almost any situation that I fear will bring misunderstanding, etc.
guest_joy> it is not a bad thing to withdraw if it is temporary, meaning days. but when it becomes weeks and months it usually becomes a problem and indicates some paranoia
Jane> people usually misunderstand what they cannot see...we just must stay out there with them anyway
guest_joy> Susan you may need to seek out a support group that does understand. there are people everywhere suffering from depression or things that could lead to depression such as chronic illnesses. if you're not supported at all, you may be in wrong atmosphere
[HOST_Carolann] isolation is never good for depression is it?
Susan> Seeking a support group is what led me to Hopekeepers........it has really made a difference
guest_joy> when I suffered for 12 yrs alone it was because I confided in the wrong people - church leaders who never suffered from chronic depression. then I sought professional medical help and in time the very people who judged me, turned to me in time of need!
Jane> you are right, carolann. .isolation just causes depression to worsen
Dana> I have found the rest ministries site to provide friendships through this chat and HopeKeepers bible studies. This helps me develop friendships and a support network since I am virtually bed bound.
guest_joy> yes hopekeepers seems to have a lot itself. pray that the lord leads you to someone or group in your area.
guest_joy> total isolation is not good, temporary withdrawal has some advantages as I have caused a total scene when severely depressed in past
mayogram> FLY ladies ideas of babysteps can help here. A short outing - limit it to a few minutes and build up from there
Jane> sometimes we just need a little time to rest and regroup
guest_joy> is there small groups in your area such as bible studies. even if they don't understand or address depression, getting out will give you refreshment
guest_joy> yes babysteps and rest. I get a lot of sleep. I often don't sleep at night and sleep most of the morning and sometimes take an afternoon nap.
Jane> try volunteering in a classroom...children have a wonderful positive effect on many people
guest_joy> nursing homes can sometimes be uplifting as I go with church group to minister to them and in turn am blessed.
Jane> or the homeless shelters are a great outreach
mayogram> a chronic illness support group will be more understanding than people who don't understand pain and illness
guest_joy> in the past when it was evident I suffered from depression, others who had worse cases turned to me and drained me. be sure to surround yourself with someone who is a leader to you and not only those who lean on you
mayogram> Amen!
[HOST_Carolann] good point Joy
Jane> I have not really found anyone who understands chronic pain...only God alone
guest_joy> it was a problem for me for many years because though I suffer I am also a good listener. but I drew people who just wanted to unload and not do anything about it. you have to want a change in your circumstances
mayogram> I've been with others with Fibromyalgia who are very understanding, but God is best
guest_joy> God alone is a great source - Bible reading, devotionals, prayer, praise, praise music is a great surrounding. However, a few friends help too!
Jane> I learned long ago that spiritual health is far more important that physical health
Dana> My heart goes out to you Jane. Most of us suffer from chronic pain--you are not alone here--we all understand.
guest_joy> Jane, may I ask if you have a physical ailment that adds to depression?
Jane> I have a number of painful conditions including fibromyalgia
Jane> thanks Dana
guest_joy> I didn't have a physical ailment at time I had circle of Christians who didn't understand which made it look like it was all in my mind
Louise> Does anyone here get very depressed before and after M.D. appts? They do not understand chronic illness, and always seem to give me discouraging news.
guest_joy> now I too have fibromyalgia, and numerous other things
Jane> I actually do not suffer depression but totally understand how chronic illness could lead in that direction
guest_joy> there should be a support group in your area Jane for sufferers but it may not be Christian, how about a small group bible study?
guest_joy> Louise, it takes a long time to find a doctor who both medically treats and emotionally treats. you may want to search on
Louise> I am facing a series of appts. with different docs. it is never just one doc.
Jane> I teach fourth grade in a Christian school...not much time left for groups...I am usually very fatigued by day's end and do well just to rest on Saturday so I can go to church on Sunday
guest_joy> oh, some will understand and others won't. cling to those who do and find another source of uplifting after those who don't.
Shadow> How did you deal with depression when you were first diagnosis Joy?
guest_joy> also maintain a healthy diet. too much sugar adds to headaches, etc
Sheri> also mood swings, Joy
Dana> Louise, I am in the same boat. Some of my best doctors for treating my physical chronic illness, do a poor job with the emotional component. I just realize this before the appt. and adjust my expectation from the doctor.
guest_joy> I diagnosed myself and went pleading for help but as I said first I went to Christian circle, which was a mistake. then I went to doctor who helped but is not up to date on things
Jane> three fruits each day lots of veggies chicken and fish
guest_joy> it's hard to be realistic in a world that demands so much of women but we have to do it for ourselves
Jane> I took myself off all medications...it is better to feel the pain then to be a victim of med's side effects
guest_joy> if you are a chronic sufferer, I don't recommend taking off all meds. finding the right one may be best. I understand how scary it is though because side effects sometimes take a long time. Most however, present immediately.
mayogram> Joy, how do you deal with it when it seems like God just doesn't hear your prayers?
guest_joy> I've been through much perseverance. I well rooted myself in the word of God at a very young age and know that is the ultimate answer
mayogram> I know that all in my head but in tough times, its hard to hang on to
guest_joy> Putting a praise tape in will turn around my gloomiest days
guest_joy> also pray through, pour your heart out before him. meditate on scriptures such as psalm 91:1-16, psalm 23:1-6,
guest_joy> proverbs says that laughter is as medicine. smile even when you don't feel like it. eventually it comes easier.
mayogram> thank you everyone! What great reminders and ways to cope - keep em coming
guest_joy> thanks mayogram. remember many think it's all spiritual, others mental, and others physical imbalance. BUT all are vitally important!
Sheri> I try to find a funny radio show, TV show or movie or book every week- if you haven't seen Shrek 2, rent it!
guest_joy> You need to figure out which is causing most symptoms for your own case - physical or emotional and find help accordingly.
guest_joy> comedies are great, there are many great Christian books on the market
guest_joy> get out around people you enjoy being with
Sheri> yes-laughing with friends is the BEST!
mayogram> something that has helped me over the years is a little book written by Amy Carmichael called "Rose from Briers" It is letters she wrote it while ill, to people who were also ill.
mayogram> Laughing friends do keep me going
guest_joy> I find that boredom is a trigger for me, as well as overload. So I constantly strive for a healthy balance
Jane> focus on you passions.. that helps too
guest_joy> how about the testimonies of those who have had tragedies such as joni erickson
Dana> Reading inspirational books about people who have overcome any sort of challenge greatly helps me
Sheri> yes, I find that reading about others who have overcome difficult circumstances is uplifting
guest_joy> there are many short devotionals for women if you don't enjoy lengthy readings
Dana> and books on tape--are helpful
Jane> any thing written by Bruce Wilkinson is good
guest_joy> I am enjoying the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
Jane> try " A Life God Rewards"
[HOST_Carolann] that is such an excellent book, Joy and I think knowing our purpose will give us direction if we are fighting depression
mayogram> Who wrote it?
[HOST_Carolann] since often hopelessness is a big part of depression
Jane> Bruce Wilkinson. .it comes on DVD too
BevinFL> yes and also" the battlefield is in our minds" by Joyce Meyer is excellent book
guest_joy> there are many, many spiritual books on depression. Oh, Happiness is a Choice is a book by Minirth-Meier that I avoided for years thinking it's title suggested condemnation if you suffered from depression, after 20 years I read it and it's the best I've read on the subject!
Dana> Oh--and the HopeKeepers magazine is awesome! you can order through restministries.org . Maybe someone will send you their copy.
Jane> I read that on BevinFL..very good
BevinFL> yes it is Jane
guest_joy> Joyce Meyer does have a lot of good books
[HOST_Carolann] Our hour has quickly gone! Joy if you would like to add any comments in closing?
BevinFL> she sure does and she has lived as you know what she writes about
[HOST_Carolann] It has been a great hour of insights and discussion
guest_joy> The Minirth-Meier is a clinic of two Christian psychologists who understand both physically and spiritually!
Jane> Thanks a lot, Joy God bless
guest_joy> thank you all for your input and I pray that something has been said to help you
BevinFL> thank you Joy so much GBU always
[HOST_Carolann] It has been good to have you here today and thanks everyone for being here and your input too
guest_joy> it's been an honor
Chris> Thanks Joy, God bless!
mayogram> Thanks Joy
[HOST_Carolann] God bless you Joy as you deal with your challenges and as you seek to help others who are hurting
Sheri> Thx Joy and Carolann, it has been a helpful discussion, as always.
mayogram> Thanks to all of you - you've given me a whole treasure chest of ideas to add to my arsenal
Dana> Joy, your ideas are uplifting--and seeking help through physical/social/emotional/spiritual/ components for depression are wonderful!
guest_joy> thanks for all your comments maygram and Jane and everyone
Shadow> thank you Joy
[HOST_Carolann] Anyone who wants to stay and keep chatting you are welcome to do so
Dana> Wonderful job Carolann--look forward to each week
guest_joy> thanks shadow
[HOST_Carolann] you are very welcome - thank you for your kind words
Ron> thanks from downunder Joy
BevinFL> God Bless you all see you all later thank you Carolann