If you're anything like I am, you probably imagined that goal setting was for overachieving, date-book carrying, performance-driven success stories whose primary challenge in life was cramming one more worthwhile thing into their agendas! Of course it's great for them, you think; they're all healthy and can do whatever they want! But I'm battling a chronic illness! How can I even think about goals? Believe it or not, goal setting isn't just for able-bodied overachievers. Goals can help those of us with chronic conditions build purpose and direction in the midst of our days, ultimately giving us encouragement and hope. How?

1 Goals shift our focus from the past to the future. Many times I've yielded to depression and bitterness because I looked at the past and longed for the way things were before. Or worse, I dwelled on the "if onlys." "If only I hadn't tried to reach that top shelf, then I wouldn't have fallen…." "If only he'd been diagnosed sooner…." Dwelling on the past keeps us there, and prevents us from moving forward. Like Paul in the Bible, we can "[forget] what is behind and [strain] toward what is ahead," so that we too can "win the prize for which God has called [us]…" (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV). Goals keep our eyes off the past and fixed on the future.

2 Goals take our focus off our pain. My youngest son's chronic, painful intestinal disorder often results in intermittent debilitating pain. He was often comfortless when his pain consumed his attention. When we suggested that he use a stopwatch to time his episodes, he had something else to focus on. Sure enough, with his next bout of intense pain, the goal of timing his pain diverted his attention from the pain itself. Did timing his pain make my son's pain disappear? No. But, focusing on his goal made his pain more manageable.

3 Goals give us something to work toward; in other words, a purpose. A friend at church with on-going severe stomach pain said, "it took God putting me on my back to get me to look up." In the midst of his suffering, he learned to become a prayer warrior. How? He made it his goal to pray daily for specific people. The goal of praying for others took his eyes off the unending nature of his own pain, and gave him purpose in a ministry of prayer.

So, what exactly does goal setting include? Isn't it just a matter of deciding what we want to do, and then doing it? Actually, it's not that easy. Goal setting, though not complicated, can become defeating and discouraging if done the wrong way. The following six guidelines help us avoid setting self-defeating goals, and can guide us toward goals that result in encouragement and purpose.

As you begin setting goals, be sure your goals are:

Specific: "I want to be more fit" sounds like a great goal, doesn't it? Actually it's not. While the idea of improved fitness is certainly worthwhile, "more fit" isn't a good goal; it isn't specific. A better goal would be "At the end of six months, I will be able to walk 10 minutes on the treadmill without stopping." If my present condition only allows me to walk one or two minutes at a time, when I gradually get to 10 minutes, I'll know specifically that I've met my goal. (A note of caution: any fitness goals should be set only with a doctor's prior approval)

Realistic: Let's say I'd like to become more patient with my caregivers. A goal like "I will always smile, and never be irritable" is unrealistic and sets me up for failure. A more realistic goal might be "Once a day, for the next week, when I' tempted to complain or snap at my caregiver, I will hold my tongue instead." Refraining from complaint or criticism once a day is far more realistic than "always smiling."

Measurable: Any goal I set must answer the questions, "How will I know I've achieved it?" and "When will the goal be completed?" A measurable goal would be "I will write (or dictate), and send, one thank-you note a week for the next month." By the end of the month either I mailed four thank-you notes or I didn't. If we make our goals specific and give them a time frame, they become measurable.

Comprehensive: Don't panic. This doesn't mean that goals have to cover every area of life. It simply means that goals should be both short term and long term. "But how can I even think about the future when my illness is so unpredictable?" Are long term goals wise for those with uncertain futures? Absolutely! Why? Because goal setting is more about improving the quality of our lives today than it is about achieving the goal.

Take marriage, for example.
If our long-term desire is to maintain a healthy marriage into our golden years, then my husband and I can, in the short-term, work toward that end. Daily goals like "Pray together nightly" or "Never go to bed angry" help ensure the continuing health of our marriage, and improve the quality of our daily lives, regardless of what the future holds. Monthly and yearly goals help, too: "Go out for breakfast once a month," "Once a year spend a weekend together without kids," or "Every five years participate (by video if necessary) as a couple in a marriage seminar." The short-term and long-term together form comprehensive goals, and can be applied to virtually any area of our lives. Prayerfully ask "What do I want my ________ (relationship with God, prayer life, marriage, parenting, friendships, job, ministry, finances, etc.…) to look like in a month? A year? Five years? Ten years? At the end of my life?" Then set short interim goals to get there.

Flexible: Whether short term or long term, great or small, goals are entirely dependent on God's grace and mercy (Proverbs 19:21). Our lives are unpredictable at best, and changes in health status, families, jobs, or finances can wreck havoc with goal setting. We need to be flexible. One of my goals last year was to jog 500 miles (about ten miles/week, or two miles a day/five days a week). At that time, it was specific, realistic, measurable, and comprehensive. It had to become flexible when chronic migraines, vertigo, and an on-going problem with my knee prevented me from running at all. Now my goal has changed to walking 10 minutes on a treadmill three days a week. If my knee, vertigo, and migraines worsen or improve, I can readjust my goal to suit my changing health status. That brings us to the last point about goal setting. Goals need to be…

Periodically reviewed: Regular review allows us to change course when our circumstances change or our goals are too easy or hard. Reviewing goals quarterly (4 times per year) helps us adjust them as necessary.

Goal setting: it's a tool we can all use to bring direction to our days. Whether a forty-something wife and mom with MS who prays five minutes a day for five people, or a housebound chronically ill senior whose goal it is to speak one word of appreciation or encouragement daily to his caregiver, we all can benefit from having a goal. Those around us will certainly benefit, but the greatest benefit is the encouragement and direction goal setting brings to our own hearts and lives. Let the goal setting begin!

Joan Esherick lives in Telford, PA, and helps her husband of 20 years, and three living children (2 of which have chronic issues) establish specific, realist, measurable goals. As a Bible study teacher, speaker, discipler and freelance writer, she helps other people with goal setting as well. For information about goal setting, you can email; her at desherick@safeplace.net or visit her web site.

Reprinted from ...And He Will Give You Rest
monthly support newsletter, Volume 4, Issue 1©

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Dreams: Do We Keep 'Em or Wean 'Em?
Lisa Copen

I recently spoke on this topic at a few churches, and would love to be able to share this uplifting presentation with you! Have you ever questioned what God has planned for your life?

Have you been frustrated that living with a chronic illness has forced you to give up so many of your dreams and goals?

How do we keep having hope when our dreams are slipping through our fingers?

During this 45-minute presentation we will walk through the steps of deciding what dreams to discard and what dreams to hold onto.

For example how to:
(1) Prioritize your dreams. (2) Go after your dreams when just daily living is so difficult.
(3) Serve God through your new dreams & more.

I promise you will get lots of laughs out of this upbeat presentation and you'll feel renewed and motivated to take a second look at God's plan for your life.

Click here to order.