I've
never been comfortable primping
in the mirrors of women's
restrooms. While most women
flock to the mirror and compete
for space to brush their hair,
put on lipstick and powder
their faces, I have always
glanced at myself as little
as possible, nonchalantly
dabbing on some lipstick and
escaping. Why? Because these
women always seem so confident
and pleased with their appearance
as they tease their hair or
spray perfume on themselves.
I find my eyes straying from
my own face and looking at
their's, comparing. Are they
laughing at me, thinking,
"Lipstick ain't gonna
help you, girl"?
I've
never felt like I had low
self-esteem, and I've always
thought that, although I wasn't
beautiful, I was "cute
enough." When my body
started to turn against me
after being diagnosed with
rheumatoid arthritis, the
feelings I had about my appearance
became confusing. The high
heels went to the back of
the closet. The nylons were
thrown in the trash and not
replaced. The weight gain
from the medication made me
transfer some of my clothes
to another closet. The depression,
followed by overeating, removed
a few more clothes.
I
was left with a pair of Keds(R)
to wear and few "cute"
outfits to go with them. With
these changes, the act of
comparison was given a home
in my head in which it thrived.
For every one of us that suffers,
physically or in any other
way, there is a strong temptation
to compare oneself with others
who seem to have an easier
life than we do; who seem
to look better than we do;
who seem to feel better than
we do. This attitude innocently
finds a place in our thoughts.
We aren't putting others down;
we are just wishing for what
they have...or maybe even
what we once had.
In
John 21, Peter had a similar
experience; he thought John
was getting a better deal
in life than he was. Jesus
asked Peter three times if
he loved him. Each time, Peter
said, "Yes, Lord, you
know that I love you."
So Jesus asked Peter to feed
His lambs, take care of His
sheep and feed His sheep.
Jesus told Peter, "...when
you are old you will stretch
out your hands and someone
else will dress you and lead
you where you do not want
to go." He told him that
he would have a death that
would glorify God.
As
Jesus and Peter were walking
away, Peter saw John following
them, and he thought about
the fact that Jesus didn't
tell John that he had a burdensome
life ahead of him. He asked,
"Lord, what about him?"
| I
too have asked Jesus a
number of times, "Lord,
what about that person?
Why do they have it so
easy?" |
It
may be easy to imagine Jesus
reassuring Peter, saying,
"Don't worry about him.
I will always be with you."
Instead, Jesus responds by
telling Peter, "'If I
want him to remain alive until
I return, what is that to
you? You must follow me.'
Because of this, the rumor
spread among the brothers
that this disciple would not
die. But Jesus did not say
that he would not die"
(John 21:22-23). In other
words, Jesus was saying, "His
life is none of your concern.
Mind your own business!"
There
are three things we can learn
from this:
By
Peter demanding that God give
him and John "equal opportunities,"
he was doubting that God already
had a good plan for his life.
God considers this sin.
Although
it may look unfair to us,
we don't know what the other
person is dealing with. Peter
didn't know what John would
face in his later years.
Only
God has all of the facts and
knows the future. He is the
only one who can know what
trials each person is getting
or will be getting. In the
book A Step Further,
Joni Eareckson Tada writes,
"God is doing in each
one of our lives something
expressly different than He
is doing in another's. He
will give us the unique grace
to bear our unique cross."
Overcoming
the "What- about-them?"
envy is something we may learn
how to do quickly or over
a long period of time. The
sooner we recognize that God
doesn't compare us, but that
He loves each of us individually,
the sooner we can "grow
up" in our faith. We
will learn to grasp hold of
His hand when we need His
strength instead of running
beside him whining "...but
it's not fair."
The
Temptation of Comparing Your Life to
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