my life friends have come and gone like
autumn leaves in a fall rainstorm; momentary
blazes of color, until the ill-wind blows.
With every leaf that fell from my fragile
friendship tree, they drained the sap
of life from my very heart. I struggled
to protect myself from the onslaught of
good intentions that lacked the conviction
and perseverance necessary to stand by
me in the darkest, bitter storm blast.
friends and even family spoke of help
and encouragement, but they grew weary
in the day-in and day-out nurturing of
my life. I grew afraid to seek the sun,
or trust a kindly word, because when the
novelty of my illness wore off these friends
became phantom memories, as elusive as
a cobweb in the sun.
pulled away and turned away and their
absence became a roaring echo in the
chambers of my heart. The silence
of their good intentions accentuated
my lonely cries, until at last, I
could cry no more...
when the tears were dry and the trust
was gone, God sent you, Jesus, an unexpected
breath of fresh air in the midst of the
stagnant emptiness. And in time I learned
that we were as alike as we were different,
and the differences only added body to
really cared and suddenly I wasn't alone
anymore. You will never know how often
the sound of your voice helped me to face
one more pain-racked day. There have been
so many times that I just wanted to die
and you provoked me to live. You have
been a much better friend to me than I
to You and I am so grateful that God sent
me the gift of your friendship. So often
you are the still, small voice that God
has used to motivate me just one more
I do not know how to properly or adequately
thank you for the gift of your friendship.
Words seem insufficient and there is so
little I can say. But I hope that you
know how grateful I am and I hope that
my life reflects in some way just how
thankful I am. You are precious beyond
measure. You are my best friend, Jesus.
He Will Give You Rest
monthly support newsletter, Volume I1,
Issue 8. © 1998.